What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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