According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
