My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
