Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
