As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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