I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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