their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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