Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
