oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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