you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
