So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
