with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
