I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize