we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize