Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
