I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
