He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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