At least make sure they are 18
Why
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I supernannyed him into submission
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
