I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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