Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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