STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize