I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
