I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
