There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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