theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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