If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
