I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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