a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
