Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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