Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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