Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
