Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
