I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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