Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she smelled like a LAN party
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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