i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He has the fingertips of a God
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize