I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
