last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
