got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
