Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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