**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my sisters under your porch take her home
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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