How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
