Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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