Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
