So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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