I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
