This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
