We're like a lot better than the average bears
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize