I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
