Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
