2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
