Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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