Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
