so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
