I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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