I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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