So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
