I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
