I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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