At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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