she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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