i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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