The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
