I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
