Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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